Welcome to AboutPaula and her views. Today's topic is one that will probably come up every year. This is because yesterday, the 4th March was 7 years to the day that my Mum passed away. It all went by quite quickly to the point that I forgot what day it was. I know it sounds bad but thats how it felt!
When she died, it was incredible how things went from OK to just numb. We didn't know what to do and it felt like the whole world had stopped. I was still at college when it happened and took off a couple of weeks to grieve. I can't really say that I did grieve really until probably a few months after she went. I will say that it helped to find out a few weeks after she had died that my sister was pregnant. I think that gave us something to focus on. I don't think it would have gone by so easily if she hadn't been.
My Mum died of schloris of the liver. In other words her liver stopped working because she drank so much. We didn't know that she was going to die and she and my Dad had just got back from Spain the previous day. I think that it would have been much worse had she died when they were away!
Anyway, I didn't go to her grave. I don't think there is any point. I know people think that going to the grave makes you feel closer to whoever you are visiting but personally, I don't need to go there to feel close to her because I always feel close to her. She is always wherever I am so I can talk to her whenever I need to.
So, the day was just a normal day. So was Sunday which was mother's day. Other dates that would concern her and which were totally ruined on the year she died include Easter and my Mum and Dad's wedding anniversary! Not a good month to celebrate anything really.
OK, so to clear this up, death is really crap when it happens to someone close to you and can really mess people up. Nothing good really comes of it but if you let it pull you down, you will find it really difficult to get up again. All in all, I hope it is a long time before you go through it. If you have gone through it, please share how you came to terms with living with it and whether you had any difficulties.
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